an almost-born child murdered

I weep today in wretched grief and rage as I read the news: two women and an almost-born child are murdered today on their way to the maternity hospital by U.S. soldiers.

I read this news as the voices of those pro-war people we met yesterday in front of the White House loop through my head weaving intricately into this news: we’re giving them democracy dead; we’re giving them freedom murdered; we’re doing a good job in Iraq killing women & children; I support war 6 more soldiers dead; I support bush 6 more soldiers dead; I support the troops six more soldiers dead; we need to be there until the job is done 2 more women & an almost-born child murdered; if you don’t support the mission killing women & almost-born babies, you don’t support our troops six more soldiers dead”.

Six U.S. soldiers have also been killed. I'm furious. I'm desperate. I’m sick.

Two women and an almost-born baby. I'm enraged. I'm inconsolably bereaved. I'm incensed.

I am here in D.C., reaching tens of thousands of people - sometimes 30 to 50 folks at a time getting off buses or gathering with a tour guide; sometimes one or two individuals sightseeing. Sometimes elementary school children or entire junior high graduating classes. Sometimes tourists from the Benefit Funds Union or from Gadston, Missouri. Sometimes handfuls of visitors from Egypt, from Thailand, from Bolivia. Sometimes white men dressed in million dollar suits that could be lobbyists, could be legislative aids, could even be congress people - definitely the 'powerful'. Sometimes just regular D.C. folks surviving in this city where predominantly white affluence & racism lords so completely over predominantly black poverty & the ravages of racism. Sometimes soldiers in full uniform or in casual everyday clothes; sometimes top brass or enlisted grunts. Sometimes soldiers recently returned from Iraq; sometimes soldiers on their way to Iraq.

I desperately try to cling to the (real) power of the work we are doing – yet I feel so diminished, so self-indulged as I entertain the thoughts that we are making a difference, we are changing lives, we are helping to end this horrific war.

I am overwhelmed with the knowledge that there are not enough of us doing too little. I am engulfed in shame and rage toward us – the everyday American folks that cannot stop our days for a moment to end this war. We are trading good jobs, secure homes, ‘safe’ beautiful neighborhoods, degrees in geology or law, for death & destruction in Iraq.

Monday at the ‘parade’ glorifying not just soldiers but this war for ‘freedom & democracy’ in Iraq, an older white woman asked me how I prevent evil from coming into my life. I told her by coming to D.C., standing here, and trying to prevent my government from engaging in acts of evil in my name, in the name of my freedom & democracy.

She snorted like a horse in a stable & stalked off, throwing evil looks over her shoulder with some words meant for me but I couldn't hear.

I don’t believe in evil – but I do believe we as a nation have made a pact with the devil (although I don’t believe in the devil either); we’ve made a pact with everything that is against life & humanity, and goodness & compassion: it is fine for us to pursue our lives, our homes in the suburbs or condos in the cities, our privileged jobs in the 35k & up range, our great schools for our special children, now our summer programs & activities, it is acceptable & desireable for all of us to consume up to 60% of the world's resources – we are given all these things as long as we allow destruction, torture, murder, rape, despair of most of the world’s population & lands.

When will our only purpose in life be to stop our country & countrymen from capturing thru force so much of the worlds humans & resources?