Mother As A Verb - Gloria Steinem
MOTHER AS A VERB
By Gloria Steinem
for CODEPINK on Mother¹s Day, May 13, 2007
I want to extend my solidarity to all the CODEPINK women today, all you
brave liberators of Peace, Motherhood and the Color Pink who are taking
action today! I'm grateful to a member of CODEPINK for reading what I'd
intended to say:
I've been thinking about Mother's Day, and why I and others, who are
not mothers, identify with this day just as much as if we were.
Of course, it's partly because we owe our lives to our own mothers, but
I think there is another reason. Even if we are not mothers, the noun, we
may be mothering, the verb. Indeed, unless mothering is a verb, it is a
state but not an action.
Think about it: As a noun, mother not only excludes half the human
race, but is also limited by fertility and age and intention. In some
societies, motherhood is honored only in marriage, or only in giving birth
to sons. In most societies, a woman is encouraged to give birth to another
person, but not to give birth to herself.
As a noun, mother may be good or bad, willing or unwilling, on welfare
or rich, worshipped or blamed, dominating or nurturing, accidental or
chosen.
Perhaps that's why the word mother is so much used in profanity; in
war, as in ³the Mother of All Bombs;² or by war-makers who honor Hero
Mothers.
But when mother is a verb - as in to mother, to be mothered - ah, then
the best of human possibilities come into our imaginations.
To mother is to care about the welfare of another person as much as
one's own.
To mother depends on empathy and thoughtfulness, noticing and caring.
To mother is the only paradigm in which the strong and the weak are
perfectly matched in self-interest.
Besides, one may be forced to be a mother, but one cannot be forced to
mother.
So perhaps what Julia Ward Howe had in mind when she created this day in 1870 - a day of opposing war and uniting for peace - was not so much a Mother's Day as a Mothering Day; a day that reminds us all, whether we are young or old, male or female, of the possibilities within us.
I thank Julia and I thank each of you. Forever more, we will be
reminded that peace is not just the absence of war, but the presence and
possibility of mothering.
By Gloria Steinem
for CODEPINK on Mother¹s Day, May 13, 2007
I want to extend my solidarity to all the CODEPINK women today, all you
brave liberators of Peace, Motherhood and the Color Pink who are taking
action today! I'm grateful to a member of CODEPINK for reading what I'd
intended to say:
I've been thinking about Mother's Day, and why I and others, who are
not mothers, identify with this day just as much as if we were.
Of course, it's partly because we owe our lives to our own mothers, but
I think there is another reason. Even if we are not mothers, the noun, we
may be mothering, the verb. Indeed, unless mothering is a verb, it is a
state but not an action.
Think about it: As a noun, mother not only excludes half the human
race, but is also limited by fertility and age and intention. In some
societies, motherhood is honored only in marriage, or only in giving birth
to sons. In most societies, a woman is encouraged to give birth to another
person, but not to give birth to herself.
As a noun, mother may be good or bad, willing or unwilling, on welfare
or rich, worshipped or blamed, dominating or nurturing, accidental or
chosen.
Perhaps that's why the word mother is so much used in profanity; in
war, as in ³the Mother of All Bombs;² or by war-makers who honor Hero
Mothers.
But when mother is a verb - as in to mother, to be mothered - ah, then
the best of human possibilities come into our imaginations.
To mother is to care about the welfare of another person as much as
one's own.
To mother depends on empathy and thoughtfulness, noticing and caring.
To mother is the only paradigm in which the strong and the weak are
perfectly matched in self-interest.
Besides, one may be forced to be a mother, but one cannot be forced to
mother.
So perhaps what Julia Ward Howe had in mind when she created this day in 1870 - a day of opposing war and uniting for peace - was not so much a Mother's Day as a Mothering Day; a day that reminds us all, whether we are young or old, male or female, of the possibilities within us.
I thank Julia and I thank each of you. Forever more, we will be
reminded that peace is not just the absence of war, but the presence and
possibility of mothering.
posted by Xan @ 10:07 PM
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