My brother's a homo

The rain continues today, a little harder than before but I was able to get in a short hike on a Florida Nature Trail for an hour this morning. Now, fed & coffeed up, facebooked & informed for the day, no excuses left to postpone finishing my book - on the second third of review.

The campground continues to b quiet, folks staying inside I guess. One white man with a thick southern drawl gave me a friendly wave & said he wanted 2 take his boat out  go fishing but it's too windy. There r slight ripples on the water...hmm mm

He stares at me, thru the drizzle and slight fog, wind tossing his straggly hair around like a flag in shreds. I really don't want to engage but slow down as he hesitantly ambles toward me, asking me if I like to fish.

He motions me to come closer, which I do not but try to keep my face friendly yet distant. He wants to tell me something. I see his old camper, u.s.ofa. flag plastered on the side, motorcycle listing carelessly on the sand, and brace myself.

He lowers his voice and all I catch is his desire to tell me something, a sharp tang of sweat, and his face turning bright orange in the morning light. He wants to know if I'm a homosexual. I raise my voice and tell him I am a lesbian - I'm still not sure what he wants.

Then he reveals his baby brother is a "homo" but what he really wants to talk about is how awful he's been to his brother - and probably to other gay people. I look at him closer, the puffy blood-shot eyes, unhealthy swollen cheeks with that 5:00 shadow even though it's dawn, thin lips disappearing as he attempts to smile.

He looks anguished and sorry as I urge him to talk to his brother, let his brother know how sorry he is, and ask for his forgiveness. His face drains of color so quickly I want to get out of there as I hope he'll not faint. He doesn't but he tells me "It's too late. My brother's been dead for 24 years."

I can only nod as I tell him maybe he can join PFLAG and make it up to others.

The lingering pain and shame of biogtry.