The way to accept feedback!

I witnessed a white male facilitator silence only two people in a very long, maybe 2 hour meeting. The two people he happens to silence are both African American.

One is a male who speaks for the first time and after he speaks a few words challenging our view of homeless people and our 'stuff', the facilitator hushes him by waving his hand and telling the man we've heard what he had to say.

I should have interrupted immediately and said "I want to hear what this man has to say" but I remained silent in the group but approached the man and told him I support what he said 1000%.

The second time, before this womon had a chance to open her mouth, the facilitator calls on her and qualifies it with "don't talk too long, just stick to the subject".

Not once were either of those things said to any other person in the circle. I approached the facilitator later and told him what he had done.

He was not defensive at all but taken back. He told me he didn't realize he had done that (of course), and he really appreciated me bringing it to his attention so he can be aware the next time.

I told him after all the defensive, negative (racist, sexist, etc) responses I've been getting on the plaza, I so appreciated his response and taking responsibility.

And I do. It is so simple. I have to remember to suggest an appropriate response for folks when I challenge their racism.