Well-intentioned white folks...part 2

This is the second paragraph of Kate's post and my response: 

Kate:

Well-intentioned white people often take my interruptions of oppression as personal attacks. “Don’t call me a racist,” they say, redirecting the focus upon their own hurt feelings instead of focusing upon the bigger harm being done to BIPOC.

Me:

Let's look first at the "well-intentioned" part of white folks. Yesterday on our zoom gathering we talked about "intention" versus "impact" (thank you Kelly). Part of white people's accountability in ending racism is being aware of our impact on the people who are the targets of racism, regardless of our intent.

In addition, why does the mere fact that white people are "intending" to do well often deter us from actually insisting they examine their intentions and impacts and identifying exactly how they are increasing harm? 

MLK wrote that he thought the liberal white was perhaps more of an impediment to Black liberation than the KKK. 

The "personal attack" - along with the "well-intention" - are both kneejerk tried and true means of shutting down the conversation about racism: a racist means. White people are very, very, very skilled at shutting down the mere conversation, let alone allowing that conversation to impact their beliefs and behaviors.

As anti-racists we need to see these as attempts to silence the racism conversation and call them out, not allow it to silence us or confuse us.

The 'honey' method of responding could be "I understand your feelings are hurt, but I need you to understand how you are hurting other people. You do want to understand how your actions could hurt someone else - unintentional or not, yes?"

Another method is "Of course you are racist just as I am racist just as all white people are racist. I mean, how the hell can we not be? Racism was built into every single institution in this country and we were born, educated, survived in this country. How have you managed to escape learning and benefiting from racism after it being shoved down all our throats?"

I have also been known to say "Okay don't act like a racist and I won't call you a racist - but you see that I never called you a racist, I asked you it you thought what you just said/did/wrote was racist."

Another response I might give is "I know why you think that you're not racist - because I used to think that as well. I thought racists were those white hooded violent KKK or Citizen's Council white men burning crosses, shooting, raping, lynching Black and brown people. I never knew there were many other forms of racism upholding and perpetuating whiteness and targeting Black and brown people."

If only we can make if 'normal' for white people to admit, "yes, we're all racist", then half our battle is won. Then we can advance to "ok, we don't want to be racist so let's figure out how we can end racism." If all whites can't admit we're all racist, then so much of our energy is spent in denial, silencing, attacking - as well as shoring up our racism, collecting and enhancing our privileges, and allowing our humanity to be demolished.