Brief Report Back Beginning Sunday 10/8 zoom gathering

Today’s zoom gathering began kind of where we left off last time, talking more about the “just joking” response white people might give when challenged on something racist they said. We added “Could you repeat that (racist statement)?” and “Did you really mean to say that (racist thing) outloud?” with “What exactly did you mean by that (racist) statement?

[From the last time: “the kinder connection response, I love you, you’re my sister, I know you, you are not mean and I really want to understand what you meant by …”; the direct response: “not funny but racist”; spelling it out: “this is what I heard you say, this is why it is offensive and not a joke, this is what I expect of you in the future…”]

One of our goals as we begin or continue to identify racism, is to take note of white people, white environments, white language and to not ‘just’ support the “white is understood” narrative. We talked about how to flip our carefully taught unconscious “comfort” reaction when entering a room, business, event, restaurant, etc., where it is all or mostly white people – to an immediate “uncomfortable” reaction as we know that racism is existing in that room, etc., as segregation is a condition of white, racist society.

We also discussed spreading the discomfort around the room to other white folks, who should be uncomfortable – so uncomfortable they’ll be willing to make changes or they will kick out the anti-racist. We talked about not quitting but forcing expulsion instead.

One of our goals here is to be open and vulnerable discussing racism, making 'mistakes', i.e. racism unintentional or previously unbeknownst, here in this venue rather than when interacting with Black or brown womyn. We also talked about personalizing racism as the attack against the humanity of white people, how it hurts us or angers us, etc.

We touched upon the costs and benefits of increasing our anti-racism dialogues and actions, what we are willing to pay, and what we receive. A conversation to be continued.

Left on the table for our next zoom: DNA testing; flags; ‘human’, ‘all the same’, ‘equality’; are we increasing seperations between races by designating color outloud?

Recommended reading: “Uncomfortable Conversations with a Black Man” by Emmanuel Acho

Until our next Sunday zoom, October 22nd, we will continue reviewing Dr. Nikki Lanier’s work on Racial Equity and seek out works by other womyn authors, including some white womyn.