Engaging with the other...to be continued

             I’m sitting in the front seat, mapquesting my next destination, getting ready to leave the park when a white van approaches me, slowly circling around my truck - twice. I catch the eye of the driver, a grey-haired grizzled man maybe in his 50’s, smile what I hope is an encouraging (i.e. disarming) smile, while I watch him examining all sides of my truck. On his last drive-by, he swings out farther then pulls in close to me so he can position his driver’s side window next to mine.

            I smile and roll down my window. He could possibly be an activist. He has that kind, open face as he leans out his window and tells me he really likes my truck. He explained that he saw it from the highway and decided to come over and talk with me.

            Well he’s not an activist but a christian…he’s not Hispanic at first but Italian. Later in our conversation he admits he’s actually half Italian (on his father’s side – the father that didn’t stick around) and half Hispanic & Native (on his mother’s side).

            I find out lots of things about Dino and I once again wish I had a tape recorder, a voice activated tape recorder that I can use to remember what people say – people who come out with the most ridiculous unthinking, no, anti-thinking statements they’re repeating rotely from hate tv.

            I think I’m so focused on both not feeling anything so I'm able to try to reach their humanity, that I can’t hold on to what the hate (at best) they’re spouting.

He wants to know what I’m doing here – besides jogging around the park. I tell him, challenging him as he’s a christian with a young son who just went off into the military, how I first painted my truck “thou shall not kill”.

            He defends

            It’s so tired, the “they’ve always been fighting and killing each other since time began”.

            I want to shake him and ask him what the hell does that mean? First of all, just because men think it’s so god damned important to tell history by wars doesn’t mean wars are the only or even the most important shit that happened. 2ndly who does he think drew up the boundaries of Iraq, Syria, Isreal, Iran but England and France. And finally, supposed they were fighting forever, that means our country is justified to go into there and start murdering?

            He is visibly shocked when I tell him no Iraqis were on those planes.

            He wants to claim it’s okay to kill to defend yourself. I said really? Where does it say that in the bible? I read “do good to those that would harm you”

            He says the military is in other countries to defend us. I ask him to please explain that to me, how is our military murdering tens of thousands if not millions of human beings around the planet, how is our military occupying other countries defending us?

            I tell him I think he knows they are defending our corporations’ rights to take other people’s resources.

            He tells me I don’t appreciate this country, yet look how good I’ve had it. Aren’t I glad I am able to live without fear (as if), etc.etc.etc.

            I tell him that yes maybe once, long time ago, before I knew that my things, my life style came from genocide, enslaving people, wars, I probably did appreciate the ‘good life’. But now I know how we got to be so rich, I didn’t ask for this, I didn’t want this.

            Dion has an uncomfortable smile on his face as he confesses he thought we would have more in common, after seeing my truck. I tell him he must not have read everything too carefully. He admits he doesn’t speak Spanish but he was drawn to the “end violence” side.

            He has to start into womyn who are beaten and don’t want you to do interfere.

            I ask him if he thinks about what’s gonna happen to that womon after he has interceded? I see he gets it as he says it’ll be even more dangerous for her.

            He thinks womyn should just leave. Right. I tell him how hard it is to leave. He says yes because she isn’t getting love from anywhere else so she can’t leave his love.

            Really, fuckin really? This is how men think?

            I tell him it is society that teaches womyn this male violence is love, and that they need men no matter how they’re treated, they can’t make it on their own, etc.etc.etc. And society makes sure we don’t make it on our own – this is what womyn have been fighting for.

            I tell him tRump is not allowing battered womyn to seek asylum. He tells male violence is not a reason for asylum, asylum is only for war.

            Male violence is war against womyn.

            He thinks womyn should just leave those men. I try not to snarl “they are leaving, they are fleeing trying to escape, but not being allowed across the border.”

            Dino tells me he is so grateful he’s stopped to talk. He has never had this kind of conversation with someone who thinks so differently than he thinks. He starts gushing with admiration, saying I’ve had a great impact on his life, on his thinking.

            I think great and ask him if he likes to read – which he doesn’t really. I tell him I will gift him my book anyway. He can always give it away.

            He tells me he is tired of hating people like me that he’s never even had a conversation with. I tell him that’s the reason we’re not supposed to talk with each other, so we can keep hating.

            Then my heart breaks again as he expresses his support of the wall as it’s keeping out drugs. I tell him most drugs don’t get into this country being walked, driven, biked across the border. I don’t tell him if we just legalized drugs, this would no longer be a problem.

            He tells me criminals and gangs and terrorists are trying to come across the border.

            He tells me Mexico is lucky the u.s. took over Texas (I add and California, New Mexico, Arizona, parts of Nevada and even Utah) cause look at the terrible cartels and corruption directing Mexico now – at least these states are ‘free’.

            I ask him if he knows what about Mexican history? And then limit it to what happened when NAFTA passed in the mid 90’s. I’m not sure he knows what NAFTA is, but maybe he does. I tell him about the 17 million farmers lost they farms within the first fuckin year.

            That’s farmers – what about their families, the people they employed to work the farm, the stores, the drivers, etc.etc.etc.

            How can you recover from that?