IMPRISON tRump; DEPORT musk

Ultimately, if we really want to end this horrific attack on all humanity really, there is only one thing we can do: pervert, deny, abandon the fuckin amerikkkan nitemare. Wealthy white men have created & built this way of life & then continued to slam it down our throats, shoot it into our DNA, torture & kill us until there is not just no vision of how to live differently but there is a crazy, intense, overwhelming desire & need to embrace & internalize & perpetuate this life style where our greatest daily fear is not what we are destroying of Mother Earth including our own humanity but our profuse fear of not being able to survive without clinging to whatever portion of the amerikkkan nitemare we've been able to tenuously grasp.

I briefly studied world religions way back when & recall this: "give unto cesar what is cesars". These fascists nazi apartheid misogynist anti-human men have brought us to this way of life. I say turn our backs to all they present & figure out what we really want, how we are able & willing to live right now, what life on this incredible, bountifully beautiful planet really means.

On the "disappeared" in this country

And have we not "disappeared" people since the first time white people stepped onto this land?

And when it became unseemly and anti-democracy to blatantly 'disappear' people, we set up institutions to funnel certain folks into 'disappearing' on reservations, into ghettos, trafficked onto highways of serial rapists, and our readily embraced: prisons.

Only now the "disappeared" are back to being blatantly televised, interneted, tiktoked - so those mind-dead & heart-void folks can no longer smile & keep up their daily drudgery plodding toward the amerikkka nitemare.

The Biggest Terrorist gang

The biggest, most cruel, most horrific, most terrorist gang on Mother Earth is the u.s.ofa. military, police, ice, border patrol - all the men (& now women striving to be accepted by doing what men do) in uniforms, armed, acting as one heartless mind, ordered & trained to kill humans.

And these men actually believe they are to follow orders of "superiors" including the fascist prez, instead of our constitution - as they obviously don't have any internal moral compass guiding them to honor & value life.

Succumbing!

Congress succumbs, law firms succumb, media continues to succumb:

it's up to us, the people!

Who is Our Wall Really Intended For?

The wall & all the surrounding high technology on our border is continuing to feel more & more like a wall to keep us trapped inside than to keep refugees out

Windfall - Isn't That What They Call It?

I'm wondering which stock market "investors" made a killing as the prices fell one day & soared the next, thanks 2 their good bud tRump

Hope

An immigrant from Algeria approached me outside my truck this morning, smiled broadly at me, telling me, with a hand over his heart, that my messages painted on my truck gives him hope.

We then got to talk for a good half hour about Algeria & especially about how tRump's hatred & white supremacist policies are growing stronger around the entire world.

But we have given each other hope - & WE WILL WIN!

Enemies of the u.s.ofa.????? Fuckin REALLY?

Who knew we are at war with Venezuela?

And that tRump could invoke a law written in the 1700's in our country's fuckin infancy, as the excuse to declare Venezuela our enemy along with some gang - did you know we are at war with a gang???

And the fuckin supreme court majority...i.e. all the men...backed tRump. Big surprise there.

Come ON White Peeps! We Have This!!!

Envisioning

I'm envisioning the new message I intend to paint on the back of my RRB, as soon as I get the funds together to replace 4 of the back door panels. Phoebe has agreed to paint the real hands, so no worries re:my very unartistic hands here.

And in case you can't read my crawl, across the very top of the door I will paint on a slant: oligarchs; tRump; musk; 1 trillion $ cabinet; supreme court; billionaires; tech industrial complex

Then under that:

two hands with "HANDS" printed inside one hand, & "OFF" printed in the other.

Then under that:

OUR Immigrants OUR Diversity OUR Equity

OUR Due Process OUR Free Speech OUR Consitutional Protections

OUR Education. OUR Smithsonian OUR National Parks. OUR Herstory/History

OUR EPA. OUR NOAA OUR Jobs OUR BOOKS

OUR Social Security. OUR Medicare OUR Womyn's Rights

Then centered in big letters:

O U R D E M O C R A C Y

We RISE. We RESIST. We FIGHT. We WIN

I know there's many more things we demand hands off but I've limited space.

I welcome thoughts, comments, feedback. Also if you want to help me get this message around the country, I also welcome cash! I need to replace 4 of the 6 panels in this back door that cost $150 each in materials and $150 each in labor. Grrrrrr

Very rough draft follows:

HANDS OFF!!!

MILLIONS took to the streets today to begin taking back our democracy & government with the promise of returning & staying out in the streets until WE WIN!

WE WILL WIN!!!!

Centering Womyn...A Dialogue!

The voices of womyn are finafuckinly becoming 'stronger'...i.e. more womyn are refusing to be silenced and are speaking up.

One of the 'successes' of the fuckin dominant trans agenda has been to ensure that a mere dialogue about their impact on womyn has been not only silenced but actually punished - by recent laws passed, by gaslighting, by firing people standing up for womyn's rights, etc.

So I was very very very thrilled that this womon Malkia, whose work for racial justice I deeply respect, was willing to dialogue with me publically on facebook this week!

Here is the post photo that the author couldn't understand how this makes no sense to those who've swallowed the trans agenda:

Here is our dialogue:

Xan: Makes no sense to those who don't understand the power of misogyny & hatred of homosexuals

Malkia: Xan I understand misogyny & homophobia. I understand patriarchy and the distortion of identity into a very narrow thing that serves no one. I understand sex and gender are not the same. I understand that feminists have been fighting for centuries to expand our understanding of what a woman is for some to now become narrow & reactionary about what a woman is. I understand that I was assigned female at birth, and consider myself transmasculine, and a feminist, and I’ve never tried to pass as a man. I know that I appreciate expansive politics, but trans-exclusive politics align with the right wing, and that I will never do. Hope no real feminist would either.

Xan: Malkia i understand & align with all you say ... up until you use the trans language of "assigned female at birth". I understand biology determines female or male at birth. I agree gender stereotypes are assigned moments after birth beginning with the pink - or blue - blanket and the assigned gender stereotypes blossom from there. I appreciate, value, and protect female-centered everything, regardless of who agrees, disagrees, aligns or disparages centering females & will do so as long as patriarchy exists

Xan:

Could it be (yes it is) the right wing is allying with us on this one issue? And absolutely NOT for the same reasons?

I don't recall using "feminine" - yet another society false designation to limit & control womyn. I thght I was clear about the bull shit "assigned at birth". I thght I said biology determines sex at birth. Then society steps in to assign gender stereotypes, roles, characteristics, limits or excessive power to sex. I am proud of men who have the courage to step outside their societal gender stereotypes, etc, and who know they are men who smash male gender stereotypes & do not try to force womyn to pretend they are womyn, I align with them over eliminating bigotry not over invading womyn's same sex spaces, relationships, events, teams, etc

Malkia: Xan trans women are women and they aren’t invading anything

Xan I understand that is what you believe. I know that sex is immutable, gender is a society created construct.

Men - & womyn - can use artificial drugs & disfiguring surgery to alter their appearance to become more in line with society's gender stereotypes but they will always simply be men on drugs who used modern technology to surgically alter their bodies. Every single cell will still be xy, so sadly for them.

How much time & energy & love have we spent attempting to learn how to truly love & value our bodies? To now succumb to the powerful pressure of patriarchy to hate our bodies so intensely we support the life-long dependency on pharmaceutical industry as well as the knife that will never be able to emulate Mother Nature.

Nothing that men do to their bodies or say about their bodies will ever make them womyn, as much as they've 'longed' at best for this over the eons, from Adam pretending he can birth from a rib, Zeus from his head, etc etc etc.

The trans agenda has invaded our same-sex spaces, laws, even prisons and sports.

Malkia: Xan you speak of men and women, I speak of male and female. Men can become women, women can become men, and some people are born with the kind of genetic make up that makes them neither male nor female. More importantly, your personal distaste for surgeries or hormone treatments should not influence people’s rights or access. You don’t like it? Don’t do it, but don’t judge and discriminate against those who do. You have no right to impose your view on the bodies of other people. No one is forcing you to get surgery, to call yourself something you don’t want. You can use whatever language you want to describe yourself, but you may not force your definitions of me on me.

Xan: Malkia u really want to police my views? You disagree with my views, I welcome dialogue. You don't like my views, don't engage. But you or anyone will never ever silence my views. I influence people every second of every day. My influence is mountains above trans gender ideology. Where's my power to force anything on anyone? Project much? All these 'new' misogynist terms being institutionalized - did I or any feminist create those? Did we change sex to 'gender', woman to 'cis woman' etc etc etc.

Malkia: Xan okay. The threat of losing civil rights and life is different than being mocked or excluded from the Left. But I see that you do not understand nor take any responsibility for the impact of your words and actions on a whole group of people.

Xan Malkia No, not so different Malkia. Being 5'2" & old surrounded by angry men, getting pushed down after a sign that says "Biology is NOT Bigotry" is ripped to shreds, or being faced by axes & pink guns declaring "Kill Terfs" - when those very men hv decided to fuckin label me & act as if that label gives them the right to kill me, threaten my children, etc? When the mere word "women" is grounds for them to express rage toward me?

Regardless Malkia, I am, have been, & always will be the one who defends men's rights to wear whatever the fuck they want to wear, etc, & I am & have been & always will be the one who risks her life & puts her body between bigots, white supremacists, misogynists fascist & their intended targets. Regardless of your "fear" of me.

Keeping womyn's spaces sacred has nothing to do w/the civil rights of men who 'identify' as women. I am capable of doing both: defending our right to same sex spaces & defending everyone's rights to embrace whatever socially constructed gender stereotypes, roles, etc they want - as long as they are adults - and as long as they know that their sex never changes.

Malkia: Xan it’s good to know that regardless of your defense of what you consider “same sex spaces” you are able to understand that discrimination against transgender people is wrong. Trans people are being denied passports, birth certificates, prevented from voting, and removed from civil rights enforcement. So, you can equate if you want, but I see a measurable difference. I’ll step away from this conversation now.

Xan: Malkia thank you for engaging in this conversation - looking forward to more dialogue & increasing understanding.

And just to clarify: trans people are NOT being denied passports, etc., but what is being denied is the ability to lie on their passports etc. by claiming their sex has changed. It has not and never will. The civil rights denied to trans people is the right to dress, etc., any way they decide and not to be discriminated against because they choose to step away from socially constructed gender stereotypes, roles, etc.

Arizona Sunset at 60 MPH

Winter Sunrise New Mexico

Good bye Texas

I was able to start driving earlier this morning, as the temperature was over 40 by 9a.m.

Still no deep interactions with anyone, although I am moving pretty quickly. I want to make it to the Bay to get my truck smogged in time to leave California and be back in Atlanta by the 4th of January. Then I’m hoping to make it to D.C. for the January 18th march.

We’ll see.

Of course, being Sunday if/when I can find a Y, then close early – sometimes at 2pm, other times maybe 4pm. But I’m too late pulling into El Paso to find one, even with the hours I gained heading through time zones going west.

But I do find a Planet Fitness to work out at – thanks to my health insurance paying for Silver Sneakers – a benefit I will lose January 1st but it’s been a nice alternative to working out at the Y, as they are often open 24/7 or at least 24/5.

I’ll cross state lines into New Mexico tonight – where there is a very modern, very new rest area.

A few responses..

I got a late start this morning, mostly due to the cold but also looking working out and finding a place to charge my battery. My solar has issues and I’d have to pay to camp and plug in my electrical system, which I don’t want to do – that good ole budget thang.

I didn’t make it half-way through Texas without the other good ole white boys in white pickup trucks pulling in front of me and letting go of thick black smoke. Twice.

Another pickup, white again with two white boys, almost catapulted out their respective side windows to make sure I saw their middle fingers jabbing at me and my truck.

They had to suddenly stop, as we ran into traffic, so I almost got to catch up with them but they weaved in and out of almost stationary lanes to work their way ahead.

Hmmm

I also received one blatant heart from a Black male driver who took his hands off the wheel while passing me at his exit to smile broadly making the heart in both hands.

Another Black family honked loudly, fists raised, smiling broadly as they passed me.

And yet another car with a very elderly Black womon passenger raised a shaky hand to wave at me, smiling broadly, as the driver probably her daughter also smiled and honked.

Not so many responses in such a big state.

Disappearing workers

I did find a Krogers in Texas but much to my chagrin, there were no cut-up watermelon or any fruit at all. One of my staple road foods. When I found a red-headed white male employee and asked him about where the cut-up fruit was, he informed me that they used to have an entire department of employees who cut up the fruit and made pico de gallo, guacamole, etc. but everyone up and quit all at once.

We stared each other down, until I broke the silence by asking when this happened. He told me the weekend after the election.

My heart hurt for those workers, those humans so terrified they walked off their jobs.

And I can’t help to think of those excited white people, so happy and wonder.

Texas

There was a time in my life – actually a few times – when I refused to drive through Texas. Way back when I was driving around the country with my partner, we were malevolently introduced to the “Sundown Laws” by menacing white men. We both tried to appear nonplused but later vowed to leave Texas asap and never return.

I relented decades later and only zoomed through on I40, the Texas Panhandle, when Route 66 was replaced. I’d make sure I filled up before entering Texas, refusing to spend a penny in that state.

And then came our war against Iraq and bush became president (not in that order), I didn’t even take I40 then. Finally a few years ago I decided to venture through Texas, both on I20 and I10.

Today I’ll head south on 87 through Bridge City so I can indulge in my daily routines of treadmill (when it’s too cold or too hot for fast walking outside) at the Y, library moments, and checking out reduced produce at Kroger or Safeway.

If it’s still below 40 degrees, I might seek out a Goodwill or thrift shop.

On the Road Again!

I intended to leave Atlanta yesterday but got caught up once again in my daughter’s extremely busy life. My help was needed until she returned home from her job that allows us all to fly free (except for her work hours) around the country – standby, but free. So I’m happy to help for that reason as well.

So finally today, I'm ready to leave.

First though, I have to wait until the temperature gets firmly into the 40's. Atlanta is cold, despite being in the south.

So whilte waiting for it to warm up, I head to my to my tire guys and to have my back outside dually repaired. It’s a new tire but has had a slow leak in it almost since I bought it. I didn’t want to head out with a leaky tire.

An hour, several great conversations with the men who work there, one thin nail removed, hole patched and $60 later, I’m on the road, ready to get a feel of the country post tRump…

I’ve received a few smiles while driving down I85 through southern Georgia to Montgomery Alabama. I decide to take a smaller route, highway 80, to Selma and then cut over to I59 south at Meridan Mississippi to connect with I10: through the deep south. 80 is a surprisingly pleasant route, little congestion or traffic, no white guys in white pickup trucks belching black smoke out their tail pipes in front of me.

At rest stops where I try to make eye contact and remain open to conversing, several strate white couples do smile excitedly and engage in benign conversation with me: one couple was formerly from New Jersey (my home state), another couple was on their way to visit grandchildren. No one talks about either the results of the election nor the messages on my truck.

I can't tell if their smiles are gloating or condescending. They're definitely excited and I'm not quick enough to think how to initiate a more meaningful conversation to the sidewalk smiles before they jump back into their waiting vehicles.

I’m kinda curious, wondering if this will continue to be my experience. And will have to put some thought into what to say, what to talk about, if I want to know how people are feeling and what they are doing. I kinda feel I'm getting the screen version of interactions - surface and glib.

Maybe what I've chosen to paint on the back of my truck doesn't reach anyone.

I made it to the Louisiana/Texas state line. I had to keep driving during the warm hours so I pushed myself through 700 plus miles of u.s.ofa. roads.

Time to turn down the veggie oil and rest. As usual, the Texas Welcome Center is totally overrun by tractor trailers so I do a u-turn and head to the Louisiana Welcome Center, maybe 4 miles back the way I came on I10, which is a much more pleasant, less crowded rest area.

One Billion Womxxn Rising and Raging!

My new paint job on the back of my truck!

I'll be heading across the country from Atlanta to California next week.

So sorry I didn't have room to paint everyone's suggestions and not even enough room to paint everything we refuse to bow down to during the next four years!

I'll be taking the most southern route so my veggie oil doesn't freeze on me!

Road from Ikenne to Lagos

Leaving Ikenne after four days and heading back to Lagos.

Sunset then full moon over Ikenne

Almost full moon over Ikenne, Nigeria - and sun set

What Message Now?

In December of 1999, I purchased a new Isuzu box truck for my business buying and selling old thingz, almost a year and 9 months before 9/11.

When 9/11 happened, I quickly painted on the back of my truck “Thou Shalt Not Kill” in big letters and underneath in smaller letters: "unless securing 60% of the world's resources for 4% of the world's people" and hurried around the country to engage with primarily womyn about the threatened war looming in our near futures.

I returned to California a few days before congress was giving Bush the right to go to war and my courageous congresswomon Barbara Lee, was the ONLY one out of over 400 congresspeople to stand up and vote NO.

Protesting this horrific vote on the steps of the SF Federal Building, I learned about CodePINK: Womyn For Peace. Realizing I had two more 14’ billboards on either side of my truck, I repainted one side of my truck “CodePINK: Womyn For Peace” and the other side “Proud To Be Another American Womon For Peace” and set off across the country again.

The sides have now morphed into other missives: one side an anti-monsanto/womyn growing peace mural given to me by an awesome local Berkeley artist Phoebe Ackley; the other side “End Violence Against Womyn And Children: #SayHerName and Missing and Murdered Indigenous Womyn and Girls”.

Since 9/11, I’ve put about 498,000 miles on my truck – mostly protest action miles – and I’ve repainted the back often, depending on what’s happening in the country.

I’m ready to get back on the road but I need help deciding what message I should paint across the back this time. A message that will bring inspiration and support to those of us who are devastated by the racism and sexism overtly embraced by the majority of white amerikkkans, to keep our fight alive and vibrant while we work to protect those most impacted by those put in power.

Here are some versions of the back of my truck- not in date order: