Taken aside, cornered, asked to leave
When we get there we are joined by two others, a young white male and an older white woman. Both of the latter were in a security meeting with me earlier today, where they vehemently objected to seeing their 'privileges' and the homeless people amongst us as 'lacking privileges' - a suggestion I was making in order to deal with our insistence on seeing homeless people as thieves and the rest of us as having property that needs protecting from them.
The three of them solemnly reveal their intentions: they are the ones appointed the painful (dirty) task of asking me to leave the plaza. Margaret tells me many people have complained about me and that we have lost several talented and valuable young (male) people because of me.
I am supposed to be responsible for those who choose to leave? I ask about who are these people who want me to leave. Their identities are protected, anonymous I am told. I want to face them, have them face me. Impossible I am told. Too many of them I am told. Many have left I am told.
Margaret tells me she has worked too hard, put in long hours for the past 6 months, and spent lots & lots, too much of her money to allow this protest fail - or to allow me to destroy it. I don't know whether I am flattered that she thinks I am so powerful I am capable of single-handedly destroying all she thinks she has built or just sad that she thinks that I would put my energy into destroying anything other then the military & prison industrial complexes.
Margaret tells me, in addition, they are willing to give me money to help me leave. I think they have no idea how much it cost me to come across this country, between biodiesel, which is at least a dollar more a gallon then regular diesel, and getting wvo. hmmmmm
I ask if this decision was made as consensus, the process that we are supposedly using to make decisions.
I am told that in order to spare me the embarrassment of facing everyone, they are doing me a favor by quietly requesting I leave.
Margaret tells me Medea is in support of me leaving. Medea has already told me to leave. She is paranoid that it will be too easy to blame CodePINK or myself if this occupation fails. Medea doesn't want CodePINK, herself, or me around to be the fall guy.
I have already told Medea she (and CodePINK) will be blamed for whatever we do, whether we are here (and that's why it's failed) or not here (& that's why it failed) - so we might as well do whatever the hell we want to do.
Margaret and her allies underestimate me. Although I do not want to be the scapegoat for the consensus process, I will. No one who knows me even a little would think I would be railroaded in this manner off the island - not just for myself, but especially for those who come after me.
I demand consensus, we follow the process. First I beg them to reconsider, to think about what they will be loosing if they insist on trying to railroad me off the island. First, do they really want to establish this kind of covert action? Are they not committed to the consensus process or is that just a convenience when they want to have others think they embrace democracy?
Second, personally I tell them I am a warrior. I provide diversity on this island. I fight for those who have no voice. I bring the walk to the talk. I am a radical, jewish, womonist/feminist lesbian from a racially-mixed family.