What we (don't) have to put up with ... or how to lose supposed friends...

So I posted a link on facebook to an article in an England newspaper that announced midwives, hospitals, labor and delivery, etc. health practitioners will be forced to change their language to be "gender neutral" which is double speak for male or at the very least making men who 'identify' as women feel affirmed in an 'identity' they can never have.

So no more "breast-feeding", now they are instructed to say "chest-feeding"; no more "mother's milk" but "human's milk".. 

 If any 'human' is reading this in the future, I know you will now get the depth to which a handful of insane white men continue to have power over wombn and girls...if we're successful in standing up and facing down these powerful violent creatures who are passing as 'human'. 

Here is one of the conversations I had with Jacque (in green) who is or now was a sister anti-war comrade but has fallen under the hammer of trans agenda. 

Jacque Waldroup Betz:

Our Gainesville City Commission are reviewing all city rules and making them gender neutral. Today's meeting will include shirtlessness of all... Topless at last! 

Xan Joi: 

Oh great Jacque - wombn are definitely persons now if they can go bare breasted - oh sooooo sorry. forgive my transphobia - wombn can go bare chested now. Misogyny is over! Ding dong the patriarchy has fallen! 

 Xan Joi:

Isn't that 'gender neutral' & don't forget race neutral also for surely if misogyny has ended, so has racism. Anyway didn't we learn 'man', 'we the people', 'he', 'for all' were 'gender' neutral & race neutral? Yeah for the good ole colorblind & gender neutral dayz. What a brilliant idea 

Xan Joi: 

& wow wow wow & double wow. How many decades, how many court cases, how many jail cells, how many meetings, how many arrests hv wombn gone thru to try to get the right to go bare-breasted - AND not get attacked by men deciding this was too much for their "masculinity'? 

Talk about white male power! Just a couple weeks maybe & bingo! We get the right to take off our shirts as we lose the right to be recognized as the ONLY sex that creates life, carries life & gives birth, the right to name our own sex & body parts. Because such naming makes certain men feel unaffirmed & jealous, pointing out the obvious truth of what we have & they're dying to not just have our body parts but to control those of us sooooooooo fortunate to be blessed with what men can never have but have spent centuries, eons prob if the story of adam ('birthed' wombn out of a rib) & zeus (gave birth thru his head) are to be believed to make up for their vicious envy - oh, but that violence against & domination of wombn no longer exists because anyfuckin body can be a wombn. & for damn sure once enuff men are wombn, they will rescue us & make sure they are not caught in male violence. 

Sooooo glad I'm still alive for the next wombn's revolution! 

Jacque Waldroup Betz: 

????? The City of Gainesville is making all laws gender neutral and eliminating all bias in laws -- wtf is wrong with that. I gave shirtlessness as an example. This is with transphobia, race in mind. Just stay angry ... Wtf????? 

Jacque Waldroup Betz: 

If NOTHING pleases you, maybe you just hate everything? 

Xan Joi: 

How the hell can you be 'gender neutral' when sexism exists? It's like the old white narrative of being 'color blind'. It's NOT the answer to ending racism nor misogyny. It IS empowering to the dominant culture & sex. 

You're damn right I'm pissed. You shld be also. 

& you're damn right, sexism, racism, all forms of male violence will NEVER 'please' me. You're certainly right again: I HATE white & male violence. 

But you're wrong about about me hating everything: I LOVE wombn, even strate white wombn! 

Jacque Waldroup Betz: 

We make laws and policy to be race/gender neutral. Hearts and minds may follow. 

First come laws and policies. I am taking this as a positive. 

You can keep hating everyone and everything. I'm seeking friends that WORK for positive change. 

You are a real downer. If you just complain, well, duck off. 

Xan Joi:

Jacque - you really believe that our laws are made to be race and gender 'neutral'? I know you don't want to hear let alone believe me, so I refer you to the book "The Color of Law" Richard Rothstein - 2017!!! 

Our laws and policies can NOT be neutral until there is an even playing field, which surely you can not turn a blind eye or deny that? 

I am not 'just' complaining but I am opening my eyes, researching, dialoguing, critically thinking, and keeping myself well informed in this country of lies, myths, propaganda that brainwashes good people like you to actually 'think' we have ever made 'gender' or race neutral laws in a country that was started and continued to make a land for white people and everything in it to benefit white people, especially white men = and using such violence as genocide, slavery, mass incarceration, deporting refugees, and taking 'sex' out of class without removing the class itself. 

Jacque Waldroup Betz: 

Bye. I just told you Gainesville City is making all laws race/gender neutral. 

You are calling me a liar. 

I am stating a FACT. 

FIRST come laws and policies, then, maybe, hearts and minds. 

FIRST make the laws and policies gender neutral. Read Kendi 

We here are trying. Just keep yelling and arguing. 

I'm done with you. You hate everything -- Bye 

Xan Joi: 

I never called you a liar: I said 'gender neutrality' is a lie as long as racism & sexism exist. 

Read LaTosha Brown, belle hooks, Cori Bush, Nikki Giovanni, Layla Saad, Claudia Rankine, Karen Davies, Robin DiAngelo, Isabel Wilkerson, Isabel Wilkerson, Isabel Wilkerson, Audre Lorde. 

I can go on but first, we are having a consciousness- raising exchange of facts and ideas. I thank you for being willing to talk and I regret you quitting. I'm sad our friendship means so little to you but at least I know where we stand. Big hug Jaque. 

RISE WOMBN RISE 

 That was the end of our conversation as Jacque unfriended me.

Brief Report Back 2/10 Wednesday "What Will White Wombn Do To End Racism?" to be continue

After doing our usual check in sharing our challenges and successes in addressing racism/anti-racism, we began by focusing on the desire of some white wombn to befriend Black and brown wombn. 

So first of all, we talked about our motivation for wanting Black 'friends': are we seeking a token Black person to enable us to feel less racist? Are we feeling the utter bereftness of lacking diverse friends in our lives? Are we coming from wanting to be the 'white savior' or 'helping' roles? We touched on reparations vs restitution vs 'mutual aid' vs charity.

We discussed the need to first examine the ways in which we have 'naturally' and/or intentionally EXCLUDED Black and brown people from our lives. This is another one of the hardest things for white people to do. But it is the honest thing about becoming/increasing our anti-racist skills & work. 

Some of the ways we identified included: did we choose to surround ourselves with white neighbors; did proximity to wealth, 'good' schools, responsive police contribute to our choices; do we shop at white-owned businesses; do we flaunt our wealth; do we eat at white owned/white clientele restaurants; how do we hold onto our programmed fear of Black people and transmit that loud and clear; and more.

If our neighbors are Black or brown, have we reached out, introduced ourselves, if they're recent neighbors welcomed them, offered our contact info, see if they want to hang out in the backyard, on the porch covid-distanced, share a meal, a coffee, go for a walk, let your neighbor know you are available if they need anything, if new if they have any questions - you know, do the neighborly thang - build friendships.

We moved on to how to find ways to share resources and to identify and support the voices, lives, goals of Black and brown people. Making sure when we spend money, ESPECIALLY big money like rent or mortgages (Black owned bank or credit union), it goes into the pockets of Black and brown wombn. Connecting on an racial justice level: find out which church projects, social justice organizations, prison/police abolition groups are local and what kind of support they need. 

Easiest thing to not ignore are homeless people: adopt a homeless wombn mother, find out what she needs; cook and feed encampments and arrange for portapotties and garbage pickup; organize neighbors with resources to adopt a block that is poverty-stricken; go to the neighborhood school that you won't send your own child to and find out what they need; go to jails, police stations, courts and you'll see the stricken family members if not the incarcerated - find out what they need.

It is first through our work at untangling and eliminating our own blindness to racism and work at conscious, determined anti-racism, and then in our work tipping back the 'level playing field', that enables us to be ready and available to form real, meaningful relationships with not 'just' Black and brown people should they decide to choose us as friends and/or allies, but also with white people also working on abolishing racism.

We also talked briefly about the racist/sexist attacks against Kamala Harris - as "she didn't earn her spot", "she needs to be impeached/imprisoned" and some counter moves as first asking what exactly do they mean, not 'earning'.

In the efforts of reach/not reach, knowing Kamala Harris's record: do they know she was a sex-crime prosecutor from her first job out of law school when hardly any men were arrested let alone prosecuted for domestic violence, rape, sexual harassment? Maybe men want to turn back time to the good ole abuse impunity days?

Then pointing out "imprison" theme seems to be the go-to for white men when wombn try to exert political strength. Or are they just doing a repeat performance of their attacks on Hillary Clinton?

Resources:

Evangelists for Social Action - Nikki Toyama-Szeto

13th documentary Ava DuVernay

1619 Project - Nikole Hannah-Jones https://nikolehannahjones.com/

My Grandmother's Hands - Resmaa Menakem