Which is what my daughter informs me of this morning when I ask her what can I do to support her, and help Jasi?
I have cleared my schedule, put my 'normal' life on the back burner, so I can make Jasi's healing a priority.
She informs me that what she needs from me is for me to go heal myself - that's what will make Jasi all better!
She calmly recites the "this (LCH) is a familial disorder, that we all have, passed down from generation to generation (thru the mothers I'm totally sure), and just happens to be manifesting itself in Jasi now. So the best thing I can do for him - and for her - is to go take the time to heal myself.
I am stunned and attempting to squelch my defensiveness, to address her without supporting this outrageous 'belief'. In my book, LCH is an environmental disease period. And yes, there are things we can all do to negate the negative impacts of our environment and to build up the positive influences.
I let her know that I work on healing myself everyday. Geez, healing is a life-long journey. It has to be, if you are alive in this world, and aware and feeling.
Who can know what is happening in our world, in our country, in our name and not spend a good portion of life attempting to heal from the atrocities, the knowledge that our military has secured every advantage we have, that every 5 seconds a child dies of starvation in our world while we in this country toss wasted food as nonchalantly as expelling a breath.
And then personally, I'm someone who was never supposed to survive. I am a daughter of a survivor of the Holocaust, who was never supposed to survive. I'm a lesbian, a kick-ass womonist/feminist, who confronts racism, sexism, homophobia, anti-semitism, capitalism, classism every day of my life.
Yes I heal myself every day.
I want to be the one in Jasi - and Tessie's - lives that makes the food, inserts the power super foods, supplements, herbs and vitamins daily; that ensures he is getting the proper nutrition to empower his body. I want to be the one that does the food shopping, prepares the meals, does the errand running around, the chauffeuring so Tess can concentrate on other healing modalities, on working, on creating the environment for Jasi's healing.
But no, my daughter cannot visualize me doing these things for her & him.
She is right - I certainly need healing, for my broken heart.