Wake up and smell the misogyny disguised as "inclusion"

Recently a lesbian womon posted an ad on a LESBIAN list:  Born Woman/ Preferably Lesbian Plumber needed

This was a response from one of the supposed lesbians on the list, in red:

Randy: The wording of the subject of this e-mail is hateful TERF speak, & should not be allowed. & don't give me that this is a Lesbian list-serve. I am a cis Lesbian, 66 years old, & find it highly offensive & transphobic! Shame on you! 

This is my response in purple:

Right - womyn aren't allowed to ask for biological womyn because you say so and you will try to shame/silence/call names. Shame on you Randy. You've swallowed the kool-aid.

 

To which Randy replies:

Randy: NO! Shame on you! It's a human rights issue. I am so disgusted by TERFS, transphobic Lesbians. Especially of my own generation because we know what it felt like to be discounted; remember how Lavender Menace was born? 

 

Another lesbian womon then responds with, in green:

Stop it already. No one wants to be bullied by your lesbophobia. Women should be able to simply request specifically this way that any of us want to. You want to support women who feel like the requester and stop policing the entire list. It's oppressive.

 

And person jumps in with a moniker “mermaid of the east bay” and signed “E” only…

E: Thanks Randy for speaking up. This list is exhausting sometimes.

Trans women are women. Thank you for being here and in the world.

 

Everyone knows that ‘transwomen’ are NOT women but men who embrace society’s female gender stereotypes.

 

But that’s another lane to travel down. Instead I addressed it this way:

No one said a thing about trans people. 

Are you saying womyn do not have the right to decide who they want to enter their home & give their money to? 

Really?

 

Randy: It's just so typical of terfs. Always gotta be a victim while attacking our most vulnerable.

A lesbian responds:

Here's the memo: 'TERF' is a slur. Stop it.

 

ME: Oh for fucks sake. You sound just like the good ole boys decades ago when creating womyn-only spaces meant we were attacking their poor little asses.

And weren't they also more oppressed than we were, we CASTRATED the poor darlinks. 

Do you have any conception of how many CENTURIES womyn & girls have been oppressed? You want to fuckin compare oppressions? Sooooooo like a man to want to hog every fuckin thing for himself, even amounts of oppression. 

Transpeople face oppression. No one is denying or minimizing that. I think that men who have grown up and lived with unexamined male privilege are just sooooo fuckin shocked when they face a tiny part of the oppression we've faced all our lives, they just had no idea how male privileged they were.

It's like white people cannot fathom the depths of their privilege handed to them by racism until they begin to examine it, men who choose to 'identify' as womyn cannot fathom their male privilege until they don heels and lipstick & then "omg I'm soooooo oppressed."

BTW I am TERF and proud. I'm also merf and sometimes cerf and sometimes even gerf. Why the fuck do you think womyn don't have the right to exclude anyfuckinbody we want to? You’re so confused and brainwashed.

Exclusion IS the m.o. of racism, sexism, classic, etc. & needs to be dismantled.

But chosen EXCLUSION on the part of the oppressed is the treasured route to conquering the poisons and destruction of racism, misogyny while forging the path to self-esteem & empowerment - or did you somehow miss that glorious movement, those brilliant womyn-centered moments?

On the other hand forcing womyn to be INCLUSIVE is also a tool of misogyny & racism - obviously internalized by some womyn on this list.

I'm more than willing to sit down or zoom with anyone who wants to DISCUSS this - which means no fuckin name-calling or trying to silence womyn's voices including this womon's voice.

Randy: I spent the summer in an intensive with Anti Bias Anti Racist (ABAR) Educators. You are so blinded by your fanaticism, you can't even see your own biases & hatred spewing forth! It's very sad to me. Why don't you go live on separatist land? Then, you'd never have to deal with anyone who is different from you again! I know spaces like that still exist; I lived in Northampton, MA in the 70's. I've been out since I'm 19, & well aware of the oppression Lesbians & all women face; but I don't use that as an excuse to discriminate against others. 

 

ME: You spent a summer, I've spent my life.

Since 1975 I have been & am an anti-racist personally and professionally. I've also been a womon since 1950 & an out lesbian since 1978. But why should you hear, listen to, or trust me. Decades of 24/7 experience, research, engaging means nothing when standing next to a penis.

 

Randy: I have been engaged in racial & social justice work since I was born! My mother had zero tolerance for racism, & raised us to never discriminate against anyone because of the color of their skin or religion. She walked the talk, & called people out. I did the intensive because I wanted to learn from these two educators who teach at Mission HS, an anti-racist HS. Everything you are stating, about being a Lesbian, & being oppressed sounds like 50 year old rhetoric from the 70’s; you’re not saying anything I haven’t heard before. I trained in Martial Arts in women-only dojos, which were always predominantly Dykes, for years, & was active in the Take Back the Night Movement. I also co-taught self-defense classes for girls & women. As I stated, I lived in Northampton in the 70's, at that time, the Dyke separatist capitol of the US. So, I am no stranger to Dyke only space. I was young, in my 20's, & it was glorious! Northampton had The Greasy Gorgon, a Dyke-run bike & auto repair shop, there was also a Dyke run restaurant, & bookstore behind it, a boarding house, a theater troupe, two Martial Arts dojos, a bar, two local rock bands. It felt like we owned Northampton! That was a long, long time ago. I love women, all women, including transwomen. There are Gay men who I consider good friends, who are also invested in dismantling the patriarchy. Right now, Amy Coney Barrett is more of a danger to women than any man; I can't believe a woman would want to prevent other women from having agency over their own bodies! This is a time when people who are allies need to stand strong together, to fight for our democracy, dismantle racism. I work with people with intellectual & developmental disabilities; they also need us now more than ever. The white supremacist megalomaniac who hijacked the last election wants to do away with the ADA. If you want to see how people with disabilities & their allies stood strong together to fight for their rights, watch the Netflix documentary, Crip Camp.  

Me: Randy - it sounds like you've had a great, active life - and the similar connection to loving womyn and creating community that has empowered you also with liberation & sovereignty: the magic that happened when we came together!

How dare you think it is ok and desirable even to deprive young womyn and girls of that glorious magic? You're like a woman who has taken advantage of the right to have an abortion and now you're denying that right to young womyn & girls because you think we've gone beyond needing that right.

Furthermore, I don't understand how you get from me valuing, treasuring, being committed to womyn-only spaces so we can keep creating that magic- along with that power to smash misogyny & racism. From there to saying that is me telling people what to do with their own bodies?

I don't give a flying fuck what anyone does to their own bodies, as long as they are adults. I fought all my life to smash race & sex boxes that oppress every fuckin one.

I am an anti-racist feminist lesbian who STILL believes in "change society not your body". Yes from the 70's & proud. Thank the goddesses. Although I do have my feelings & opinions about every fuckin thing. I don't believe in poisonous drugs nor invasive surgery as a lifestyle - for myself. & don't wish that on anyone.

I know and everyone knows that it is impossible to change one’s sex. You’re so wrong if you take that to mean I haven’t fought my whole life for womyn, including strate and white womyn, to have agency over our own bodies.

You seem to think misogyny is over and you've decided loving lesbians, transwomen, gay men is the right & only way for everyone. You seem to think there's something wrong with me, oldy & moldy because I ONLY love & am committed to lesbians & all biological womyn & girls. My feelings & commitment to us has never wavered over the decades, only grown, strengthened, & honed. 

Furthermore, I'm deeply experienced at identifying both racism & misogyny. I am not fooled by this latest attempt to silence and erase womyn. I know from patriarchy - external & internalized.

I would NEVER think of telling you that you can't love transwomen, gay men, anyfuckinbody you want to love. I don't even tell you that you have to love me or fuckin include me.

The men in my life who identify as trans know & understand they are not womyn. They know & respect womyn-only spaces & do not demand that they be accepted as womyn. This is the kind of transperson I have in my life.

I appreciate your willingness to continue this conversation.

But that was the end of Randy’s communicating with me. 

Womyn: wake up and smell the misogyny disguised as "inclusion". Trans "inclusion" means female "exclusion". This can NOT continue. RISE WOMXXN RISE