Off to the DNC - take 2
yeah!!! I’m off once again – this time I’m heading upto fort bragg to pick up my last customer before I head east. I tune into kpfa, my tradition leaving California, getting my last soaking of kpfa as I go. it’s the rappsters half-hour – white folks often think they are the ones that possess the anti-war political songs: I often hear from them how it was the whitefolk music genre that produced the anti-war songs during the viet nam era, as today: wrong again. they should have been tuned in today – these rap artists are SO anti-war & political. I recall hearing a song on this same program shortly after 9/11 that was banned from the airwaves, written & sung by a group of leading rap artists – a song that moved me deeply as it made connections that few whites were making at thetime. rap is my fave genre – not – but it was great listening to both the music & the comments. and settling in for my drive up the coast. it takes me quite a long time to make it to fort bragg but I finda bio-diesel station in hopland as I go – yeah!!!! I get to fill up again w/biodiesel. I’ve painted the back of my truck “our economy is based on the suffering of people around the world”. I have also made a graph that says: axis of evil $7 billion; pentagon $399 billion; k-12 education $41billion; and foreign aid $10 billion”. I’m worried people might not be able to read it all. leaving California, I get 39 yeahs to 3 thumbs down. I’m thinking I’ll make it outta California w.o. one fuck u when heading down 5 right outside sacramento, a larger, new pick-up truck w/that persistent white fellow drives by giving me the finger! oh well, only one. passing thru the beautiful sierras, after loading the truck & being on the road for hours & hours, I stop for espresso. I can most always count on espresso shop employees and this one doesn’t fail me. both the manager & the associate talk about seeing 9/11 and ridding our nation & world of bush. out in the parking lot, a womon has driven into the lot pulled next to mytruck – she is on her cell phone, reading every last word I have painted along w/all my bumper stickers. she has spotted me from the highway. I wave & approach her – she tells me she loves my truck & asks me if I’ve seen fahrenheit 9/11 yet. as we talk, she expresses her angst over the war, bush, the horrendous damage to our land & world he has done. she asks me if I’ve seen the videos of iraq & the prisoners. her voice falters as I say I’ve only heard, I haven’t looked. she speaks of viewing some of the tapes & her despair and of thinking the only thing she can do is slit her wrists. as she talks, I can only hear that sentence striking my heart. she is crying, the horror spilling from her, speaking the unspeakable – footage of American soldiers raping young girls & boys in front of their mothers. I close my self to those images, saying I’m aware they were put up on the internet but I didn’t look. we speak our horror, our disbelief and then I feel driven to speak w/her about her despair. I say ‘lillith, you must not slash your wrists. you must know that when you start feeling that way, the despair, the angst,the overwhelming shame & powerlessness, you are falling under the spell of those in power = they WANT us to feel despair & powerless; they want us to take all our righteous feelings of rage & hurt & shock, and wound ourselves or each other – anything to keep us from directing it onto them.” I can see the understanding lite her eyes. later, I think I should have taken a moment to mourn those victims & survivors of such violence and to cast a circle of healing for us all with lillith, for the pain & despair are still there too. I tell her I’m leaving California w/over 37 yeahs and only 1 fuck u. she tells me seeing the truck, speaking w/me has given her hope. she will work to get out the vote, to rid ourselves of bush. entering Nevada, I find the biodiesel station has closed – tears! so I have to load up on stinky, horriddiesel. the clerk makes me come into the station to give her cash – s.o.p. NOT – usually they ask my bizname (its her business), truck number (#1); license number & state (sunny California). I go in and ask her how come she’s making me come in. she says ‘newpolicy’. I say, ‘oh, since when?’ ‘some time now’ she says. I say ‘like since I drove in?” ‘oh no,’ she says. I don’t believe her but I hand her my money anyway. I could go to the next station but I’ve been traveling on fumes wanting to make it to biodiesel. several truck drivers come up to me, mostly men of color, and express their approval of my signs, their disgust w/bush, their eagerness to vote in the election.the rest of Nevada is very quiet – only 4 yeahs, two from other truckers but the amazing thing is NO fuck yous!!! not even a thumbs down! the two covenant truckers pass silently.